Photos deserve to be seen & enjoyed

Six photo albums & a box of old photos have been sitting on my desk looking at me for about 3 weeks now. Sometimes I go in there & look back at them, but so far the relationship hasn't gone any further.

These are albums with pics that begin when I was 13. (The oldest ones are organized chronologically in a box because the albums they were in were "unsafe"). I'd like to do something with the pics so they'll be seen/enjoyed more often! Right now nobody (including me) ever sees them. I could do collages, mini-albums based on subject or age, big chronological albums, eeek! I just don't know! There are lots of pics of my kids as they were growing up, much too cute not to be enjoyed!

I want to scrapbook/ journal about some of the pics, but not all of them.

Then there's the question of what to do with photos of one's exes and children's exes etc. It just seems SO cold to throw away pics of people! I have done it with pics of old bf's and that wasn't so hard.. it's just the ones who were in the family for years and years that give me pause... or the ones where your relative looks so adorable but the person he/she is with just turns your stomach.

I am not going to cut the photos in half to remove the other person. I think that is SO tacky. Photoshopping them out, on the other hand.... hmmm... nah, too time consuming.

Ok, I just noticed that I have an 'eek' and an 'argh' all in the same post!! Definitely time to do SOMETHING if dallying over the decision is turning me into a (1.) mouse; or (2.) pirate.

I'm hoping that acknowledging that I'm procrastinating over this will (maybe) inspire me to get going on it. I think this is one of those cases where you feel like something should be perfect, & that desire for perfection immobilizes you! (Yes, I'm a Virgo, how did you know?) :-)

Whatdya mean no explaining??

Being from the south, I'm NOT known for keeping my answers short. Nevertheless I'm going to try it on this survey which I snagged from Denise's blog:

Answer questions with only one word--no explaining! :-)
1. WHERE IS YOUR CELL PHONE? totebag
2. YOUR HAIR? soft
3. WORK? ok
4. YOUR FATHER? adored
5. YOUR FAVORITE THING? family
6. YOUR DREAM LAST NIGHT? none
7.YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? tea
8.YOUR DREAM CAR? VWconvertible
9.THE ROOM YOU'RE IN? living
10. YOUR FEAR? loss
11. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS? happy
12. WHO DID YOU HANG OUT WITH LAST NIGHT? dogs
13. WHAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT? lying
14. MUFFIN? blueberry
15. ONE OF YOUR WISH LIST ITEMS? travel
16. WHERE YOU GREW UP? Kentucky
17. LAST THING YOU DID BEFORE SEEING THIS? blogged
18. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? cotton
19. WHAT AREN'T YOU WEARING? shoes
20. YOUR PETS? loving
21. YOUR COMPUTER? Toshiba
22.YOUR LIFE? good
23 YOUR MOOD? happy
24. MISSING? offspring
25. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW? bathroom
26. YOUR CAR/TRUCK IS? reliable
27. YOUR SUMMER? hot
28. YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS? married
29. YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? blue
30. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU REALLY LAUGHED? today
31. LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Sunday
32. SCHOOL? important
33. FAVORITE WEATHER? snowy
34. FAVORITE SOUP? homemade
35. MOVIE GENRE? humorous

Test Update

I'm back from KY and the test results were all good! What a relief! Also, the doctors at UK Children's Hospital were fabulous. DD said they explained everything to little B. in a way that she (age 2) could understand. They let both parents go back with her for the procedures and just made it an all-around good experience.

This was SO much better than when her sister had a procedure done(at about the same age) at a small-town hospital & was torn, screaming, from DD's arms & carried down the hall by a very insensitive orderly. (Any idea how much control it took to refer to him in such a nice way?)

Little B. came home and told me all about how the dr. had put jelly on her back (for the ultrasound). She didn't say anything about the catherization they did for the dye test... but that night at church she had stickers & was decorating her arms, legs, and then... well... in her words she was putting them on her "tootie". (grin) Maybe to decorate it in case of another procedure?

That reminds me of the story a friend told me about her grandmother going for her regular gyn. checkup. On the way to the doctor the grandmother confided to her granddaughter that she had "borrowed" a little of her "feminine deoderant" body spray. The girl was a bit confused because she didn't have anything like that.

When the grandmother was in the stirrups the dr. came in & said "Oh, my, aren't you fancy today!" She was offended & left immediately... later to discover that the spray she had used was some left over from her granddaughter's prom preparations. It was spray glitter for her hair!

Wednesday I will head south to lend moral support when little B. has tests done on her kidneys early the next day. I've had the same tests she's having - but I was about 22 times older than she is when I had them done. They aren't painful, but I can't imagine how they'll keep her still while they do them. One involves dye, and that's the one that has her mommy (my DD) worried. We will all be very relieved when the tests are over!

Brings back a lot of memories thinking about those tests. Ugh.

The dr. thinks it will turn out to be a fairly common condition that young children have (I can't think of the name of it to save me... but anyway it's something that does have a non-surgical cure.)

Tomorrow I'll go to the library & get a couple of books on tape to listen to while I'm driving. They make the trip go SO much faster!! I actually meant to get them today but I forgot. :-/ Ooops!

"Expressions" toothpaste

Have you tried any of the new "Expressions" toothpaste flavors from Crest? We have the "Lemon Ice" and it is just disgusting! Been using it for a couple of weeks now & my teeth just don't feel clean to me... it's kind of like brushing your teeth with one of those tubes of colored gel that are used to decorate cakes!

So... if you'd like half a tube of Lemon Ice Expressions, just let me know! ;-) I want to go back to the old-fashioned but refreshing minty stuff!!

"Big Love" on HBO

We started getting HBO about a month ago (free 3 month special deal) & I've gotten hooked on their series "Big Love". It's about some families who are polygamists in the modern day. It's not "Six Feet Under" but it is very good!

Only thing is... we weren't planning nto keep HBO after the free months end because they just keep showing the same movies over & over... BUT now that I've discovered this show... hmmm..

Wasting time?

If the internet and television were to vanish tonight, I wonder how much more productive we would all be? Also, have to wonder if the divorce rate might go down since people would communicate more with their spouses. Hmm...

On the other hand, I've made some great friends though the internet, and tv can be educational, so...

Here's some money, make 3 wishes!

If you could have 3 MATERIAL wishes right now, this very minute , what would they be? (Abstract items, such as "Peace on Earth" or Good Health for my Family" cannot be included in this list. We may do one of those another time.

THIS list is totally concrete items... price is no object, and they must be FOR YOURSELF. C'mon, be selfish, we want to hear it!

My list:

1. A helicopter so I could visit my family quickly & easily whenever I want to without having to worry about whether there's an airport nearby.

2. Money to pay off all of my credit cards. I did this just before I got married, but sadly they no longer have a balance of -0-. I HATE credit card debt... it is so stupid and difficult to get rid of because of that crazy interest that keeps piling up.

3. A beach house on Pawley's Island with lots of room for friends & family. (Yes, I know that is awfully far away, but do remember I have that helicopter from item # 1.)

Ok, now I told you mine, you tell me yours! :-)

I've Seen Fire and I've Seen Rain...

While slipping on shoes to go to work, a random thought: these will be the shoes I'll be wearing today if somebody rams my car and kills me, or if there's an accident and I have to walk home, or if I must flee a burning building. "What a strange thing to think" says the logical side of my brain.
"Well, it's the truth" mutters the emotional side, which seems to have wrestled the logical side to the ground this morning, immobilizing it with a choke hold. We are all so vulnerable, both young and old. How do we stand it?
Watching the aftermath of the explosion in Oklahoma years ago, trying to explain the unexplainable to 28 children as images go across the screen of bloody, burnt babies being tenderly carried by firemen. It was on day after day on "channel 1" a 14 minute news show that we were required to have our class watch each morning. It was the school's way of repaying Channel 1 for supplying us with a tv for every room. It was in the contract.
After a couple of days, I could no longer bear beginning every day by subjecting children to constant reminders that their world is not a safe place, that they could die at any minute at the hands of some crazy person who got the instructions for building a bomb off the internet. I did not turn on Channel 1 news.
Some kids fret "won't we get in trouble for not watching it? What if they come take the tv away? Others are visibly relieved at not having it all pushed in their faces at 7:30am. Whispers are heard in the hall "their class doesn't have to watch channel 1". No channel 1 troops storm the school, tvs are not confiscated. Time marches on and the lucky ones forget, but most of us sport souls that, if studied carefully, still exhibit scars from the horror of it all.
Then comes 9/11 and buildings crash down again, this time after planes crash into them on purpose. I was so glad not to be in a classroom that day. A 2-year old says "Please, granny, sit by my bed while I sleep so the planes won't crash into our house." TWO YEARS OLD and she's worrying about this??? It is just so wrong.
As the anniversary of the tragedy is coming near, I'm torn with conflicting emotions. One is excitement because I'll be surrounded by loved ones soon as we celebrate my birthday. The other is despair for the families who lost their loved ones the day after my birthday. Their lives were forever changed, as were the lives of most of us.
We lost our innocence, our assumption that living in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave, would keep us safe. Sounds trite because it has been said so many times before, but it is true.
"Oh, let's all wear red on Fridays! Let's all fly the flag on the 11th! Drive with your headlights on during the day to show you remember 9/11" These are the forwards that are swooping into my mailbox like mosquitoes to the tender skin of a baby. Sure, we can do all that, and will do all that, but it won't bring those people back.
"Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days when I could not find a friend... but I always thought I'd see you baby, one more time again..." The voice of James Taylor singing this song in N.Y. at the concert in the park to honor the victims of 9/11 will always echo in my mind.
It had only been a few days since it happened... people were afraid to gather in large groups because who knew if another madman would come attack, but these souls gathered anyway. All around the country we joined them in honoring the survivors and remembering those who perished. James (yes, I can call him that, he has been part of my life for decades) sang and I sobbed, fetal position in the recliner with a quilt pulled up to my nose. DH looked slightly puzzled.
I think some of us feel things more deeply than others. We are more aware that we never know when we could lose the ones we love, or could be lost ourselves. Does this mean we are anxious? depressed? overly emotional? "Just shake it off" we may be told. "It wasn't even anybody you knew."
Well, no, but it could've been. my son. my daughter. my granddaughters. my sister. the list goes on... those people in Oklahoma... in New York city... had no idea, when they left home, that they would not be coming back.
Sometimes it's almost too much to bear.

Front line or support staff?

A funny thing happened today at work. I was sending in a change of information sheet for an employee who has direct deposit & has switched banks. I typed up a quick cover letter to go with it, complete with blank for signature and title written below the name... and the name was mine.

In my current position I rarely send out letters in my own name. (E-mails, sure, and plenty of them, but letters... no.) So, it was the first time in a l-o-n-g time that I'd "officially" signed a business letter. The thing is, it felt right. Like I was back in a position of authority. It felt good.

Seven years ago I left my career field willingly, happily, with a sense of relief after having so much responsibility for so many years. (Not just responsibility for paperwork - but for people's lives, success, self-esteem, important things like that.)

Today the simple act of signing a letter made me realize that maybe, just maybe, I am ready to make a change* ... but then again, maybe I'm just ready to write my name a lot. :-)

* Having written this, I'm feeling panicky because I said I'm ready for a change... guess I must be thinking that the Blog Police will come running in and force me to change positions whether I want to or not! (job positions, that is -- not my current "position" which is in the recliner with the laptop balanced precariously atop one leg.)