Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Dissecting the Blogging Corner of my Brain

Today I had somebody ask for my blog address. This was the first time that has happened, and I was kind of taken aback. I've never actually bothered to see what my blog address is, so even if I'd wanted to I couldn't have given it to her right that minute.

A little later I found myself thinking that if I were to give her access to my blog I'd first need to go back & edit it, crop the photos I've posted so they'd be "just right", etc. "WHAT?" my brain screamed, "it's just a BLOG, why should it be perfect?" From the depths of my brain came the answer - the reason for my hesitation was that the blog isn't perfect.

When I was growing up I was supposed to be perfect (ahem, note to parents: not possible - I'm not Jesus)and sometimes I have to consciously remind myself that I no longer have to live by anybody's standards but my own. To me, blogs (like e-mail) are a very casual means of communication; they don't need to be even close to perfect. I never use spell check when writing either one, I just say what I have to say & go on.

So.. having dealt with the perfectionist aspect of the quandry, I STILL wasn't sure whether I wanted to give her the address. (If I do this will be the first person IRL to whom I've purposely given access to my blog. A few people I know have stumbled upon it when following a comment thread but I've never actually said "here, come read my blog".)

Most of my blog readers are dear friends from the scrapbooking community. I've never met any of them in person but feel as close (often closer) to them as to anyone I see on a daily basis. I know they aren't quick to judge people...

AHA! ...THERE lies the other reason for my hesitation... it's the fear of being vulnerable... of taking the risk of letting somebody know more about you than you might tell them face-to-face.

So, now that I've figured all this out, will I give her the addy? Probably. Will it be today? Probably not.

1 comment:

:::b r a n d i::: said...

I can totally relate to this feeling!!! I have not given my blog address out to anyone I knew IRL until very recently. I think part of it stems from being able to share so much of yourself with people you'll never have to look in the eyes. It's almost a diary of sorts, although not near as private as a diary might lend itself to be. It's easy for me to not worry about who reads it when I know they're never going to look me in the eye and demand an explanation for something.